Sure, we’ve got dozens of astronauts, physicists, and demolitions experts. I’ll be damned if we didn’t try to train our best men for this mission. But just because they can fly a shuttle and understand higher-level astrophysics doesn’t mean they can execute a unique mission like this. Anyone can learn how to land a spacecraft on a rocky asteroid flying through space at twelve miles per second. I don’t need some pencilneck with four Ph.D’s, one-thousand hours of simulator time, and the ability to operate a robot crane in low-Earth orbit. I need someone with four years of broad-but-humanities-focused studies, three subsequent years in temp jobs, and the ability to reason across multiple areas of study.
In brief, bourbon is a whiskey, made predominantly from corn and aged in charred oak barrels. But if you’ve been reading this column for a while, you know that I’ll probably hit you with a formal, legal definition of bourbon that complicates things.
More information than you ever wanted to know about Bourbon.
Santa keeps tabs on what you do and when you sleep. He will punish or reward you on the basis of your performance. So you should be good for purely moral motives. The trouble, again, is that after having given a variety of non-moral, strictly self-interested reasons to act, it is a perfect non sequitur to conclude that we must act on the basis of purely moral motives. In fact, if we’re right, the Santa myth undermines the idea that we should act on the basis of our moral reasons. By accepting the Santa myth, then, we nearly ensure that we will not be good.
In 2011, “Looking for the perfect beat” increasingly means digging on the Hype Machine for out nerdball indie rock — in the last two years, you can hear Lupe Fiasco rap over Modest Mouse, E-40 flipping Bjork, the Roots borrowing Joanna Newsom, B.o.B. ganking Vampire Weekend, and of course Kanye West pulling Bon Iver from his cabin and giving him a shutter shade makeover.
College is a socially expected consumption good, but still, what we’re seeing now is the real reason exposed when all the secondary reasons (Earn a paycheck! Join the world of 9-5 office work!) have evaporated. Most people go to college for personal fulfillment — to achieve all kinds of ends way high up on Maslow’s hierarchy. The rest is secondary.
If you can achieve those ends via cheap, subsidized public loans, then that’s just all kinds of win for you. And if you can get the public to write off those loans — because hey, we’re sticking it to the 1%! — well, Jesus Christ. Maybe you did learn something in college after all.
Figured I needed to mention this. That’s the first link that popped up in a Google search. I’m lazy. Anyway, I’ve been hearing about this reunion a lot of over the past several days. I suspect this will not happen, but if it does…eh.
Everyone, absolutely everyone, I talk to that enjoys the show is shitz and giggles insane over the possibility of this taking place. I love the show, but I don’t think the connection I have to it–the show’s and my sense of humor, its appearance at that time in my life–will be the same. Its hard for me to like this move.
We're just a few guys originally from southwest Michigan—though some of us abruptly left one summer—and we're all world renowned writers. Furthermoresirs
