Movie Night with Luke and Larry, Vol. 2 (Week after Easter Edition)

By Larry

Is it the biggest Bond? Certainly not by today’s standards: Bond doesn’t fence Madonna or DRIVE AN INVISIBLE CAR OVER ICE WHILE BEING CHASED BY A BEAM OF SOLAR ENERGY HARNESSED BY A SATELLITE MADE OF BLOOD DIAMONDS. Was it at the time? Hard to say really… Arguably, yes, because it tried to outdo the classic Goldfinger in every way.

This film at the time, split the vote with half of the critics loving it and other hating its copious underwater scenes which make up about a ¼ of the movie. Some might call this film Over the Top, but that is the name of another movie. I personally love the way in the old Bonds the plot was unraveled slowly. It let the intrigue build. Casino Royale does this.

Connery looks pretty old in this one, which may explain why he went all The Vapors in You Only Live Twice. I almost turned Japanese once; at least I think so. I met her in a bar off Sheffield, called Dark Horse. She was the type that knew she was hot, so I ignored her and talked to her fat Black friend. At the next bar she wouldn’t stop talking to me about Lord of the Rings (!). At that point I was in love and slightly regretting my aloof act, but I was rolling so hard I couldn’t stop. We exchanged numbers, but I never called her. Fuck me.

This film is cool because: a) Like Curt Shilling after him, Bond kicks everyone’s ass with an ankle injury (gunshot), b) it features a working Jet Pack, c) a sexy torture scene with ice cubes and a cigarillo, and d) “Fucking skyhook!” – Luke (watch The Dark Knight if you don’t know what he was referring to).

One thing is for sure, our generation missed the golden years of Bond. There have only been two great bond films in our generation. Casino Royale and Golden Eye. And that’s it. If you were alive during the series first 6/7 films, you have a bit more to be boastful about.