How the fuck can I post with this shitty dial up?
I’m(a)(n)
Goddamn tortilla shell filled with bullets, Ironfists, Rambo traps, snake bites, and Indiana Jones whips to the face
Demon-fucking-offspring of Hurricanes Andrew and Katrina really high on giraffe tranks
Fourth grader that is 6’4” with a beard that threatens to crap in eyes if mini-corndogs aren’t handed over with toes (I only lick the toes if I forewarn)
3.2-ton milk cow that shits pure calcium and Vitamin D, but into Certified Michigan Trout Streams
Grotesque bastard delivered in Cudahy, Wisconsin, 3 weeks early weighing 13lbs, 9 oz while pepperjack cheese spews out of my ass in the eyes of Doc
Chef knife who craves thumbs and finger tips more than pussy (or stabbing one)
Rug on the floor that gets seven (7) orgasms every time a foot touches me
Snow that falls into the mouth of a dementia patient who fell asleep on the back-deck while his attendant took a smoke-break
Agent of a guy, who knew a guy, who just boiled a pot of six souls on the back-left this past Tuesday in San Bernardino
Snowman in the Antarctic with eight eyes made of coal with missiles tucked beneath my snowballs
Guy drunk on Wild Turkey, pretending to know what it’s like to write, while he fabricates a spaghetti dinner for his disillusioned parents.
Mike • 1 year ago
I’m a
Guy who enjoyed this profusely.
I’ve got to say, I thought you weighed more than me at birth, but if I’m not mistaken, I topped the scales at about 15 lbs. 5.5 oz.–metaphorically speaking.
Larry • 1 year ago
i was never a baby. i was spit out of the ground just like this.