Minor Speculum

The Five People That Once Wrote on This Site

By Mike

Minor Speculum has a long, expansive history stretching beyond the imaginative, often winding through the offensive, and ending in the enlightened..ive. We are often charitable, ground breaking in our reporting, wonderfully piquant in our author’s writing, as well as truly insightful in moments of absolute clarity. Frankly, we are nothing short of Gods.

But, as in all things, Gods do not always remain; we have, for lack of a better description, gone our own way over time. In fits and starts we wrote, lived, laughed, loved, and departed–some never to return to this place. It is in this spirit that I would like to discuss who we once were, and maybe can be again. Also, I’m not ripping off of this or this.

Scott

You once had a different byline, and proceeded to write two or three exceedingly excellent posts (forever after we will seek to know what the conclusion of the blades might bring us). Alas, you quit writing just as quickly as you started, and the site died. Are the two connected?

When Minor Speculum rose from the dead, as was predicted since the beginning of mankind, you contributed many a post with all the excellence that any of us is capable of. You sir are a poet-champion. Your metre is your own, you play by the rules you made, and you fucking broke them.

Larry

Of late you are the most consistent author, but in the beginning you did not want to post. Not because you had nothing to say, but because what you had to say was too awesome to post on some shitty website like this. But then, you realized you could make this site happen, you could make the world a place for peace and prosperity between Muslim and Jew alike, if only you could post one more item. Just one more. For fucksake, just one more!

Your style is unmatched, your posting is timely, and you have continued to post despite this site’s narrow reach. At least it works on the iPhone.

Jared

Where did you go? Your wit and creativity is dearly missed. Lawyering takes up too much time, post here instead. It will lead to prosperity and happiness for you and your family. You, by far, posted…the most. Quantity and quality.

The site was your idea, why aren’t you still here? I don’t know what else to say. Lobby for a national day of mourning in your honor. Please.

Brad

You sir have a talent for writing that needs to be shared. The fact that you won’t do it just shows how selfish you are, sir. Or, the alternative explanation would be that you are too busy writing brilliantly concocted literary epiphanies for us to attempt to contain on this shit hole of a website. Alas, it is the latter. Post, though, please? I miss the words, most of all.

Mike

Mike likes to write about himself. He thinks he’s witty and intelligent. He writes too much about political things, and not very well. He speaks in the third person, and is often given strange looks at functions he wasn’t invited to. His writing is bland, unimaginative, and utterly incomprehensible. Just awful. But he keeps posting anyway. Also, he’s boorish. And did I tell you about the time an Irishman rode a bicycle? No? That’s right, it’s because he was too drunk to ride a bike.

Nov 08, 2010 • Nostalgia