So I spent last Tuesday looking at funny shit on the internet, whoops! I mean Internet. Other than porn that is what the lousy Internet is for, right? I compiled a list of my top three favorite things that day and these videos are it. I’m not gonna lie, these videos were all I looked at that day. They were that funny, really they were. I laughed so much at the Between Two Ferns segments from funnyordie.com, that it was like a rigorous ab workout – later they fucking hurt. Of course I had to watch each video 3x and there are 8 of them and each is approximately 5 minutes long. Do the math: 8*5*3=120. 120 minutes! That’s two hours! Fucking two ab workout with no equipment to buy!*
*except a monitor, a tower, a mouse, keyboard and speakers
This video reminded me of a disagreement I got into once with this girl Brielle Morey, who I used to go around with, over whether or not this type of humor was random. Now “random” is a word that is over-used, especially by today’s youth. Everything appears to be random because their brains can not fathom the possibility that things most things are not random at all, but in fact intended. Me and old Brielle were referring specifically the comedy of Will Farrell, the godfather of sorts of comedians/actors such as Danny McBride and Zach Galifianakis. The film in question was Anchor Man, Farrell’s best, funniest and most quotable outing to date. I was like, “Have you heard of editing?” I actually didn’t say that at the time, but years later I thought of it as a good retort. The idea that the scenes and phrases and imagery and performances were purposefully layered together for maximum laughter achievement was a totally foreign concept. Maybe because humor/comedy is looked upon as a lesser art form. When a comedian does something funny that no one else would think of, (the actual talent that makes them funny in the first place) it’s not creating art, it’s not improvisation, it’s random. Imagine anyone calling Picasso random: “those shapes are so random” , or Dali, “melted clocks, how random… I mean Brownian Movement, reproduction? That I can accept. But clocks melting? So fucking random.” I guess what bugs me is when the word random is applied to art and comedy, it makes whatever is being described seem almost meaningless – a fact I cannot accept. These same people think its random to run into people at stores and shows and on the street and stuff, like it’s impossible that other people exist, much less have lives for Chrissake’s! These kind of people kill me.
The titular video here made me realize how much I miss Scott, (a) because after the Erica Howard incident (chronicled here) and (b) because it was a Tuesday when I did this and a Tuesday when he did that and that Tuesday used to be our day, before he left. I miss the talks, the laughs, the drinks, late nights at Bert’s apartment or the Nykamp ranch. That reminds me, I miss Fudge most of all. Even old Pete and Sharon, for instance. I think I even miss that goddamn Bert. It’s funny. Don’t ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody.
Is Lady Gaga, in fact, an agent, or rather, a puppet of the international Illuminati conspiracy? My friends! Fear no more for your questions have been answered with the evidence of a masterfully crafted real-to-life conspiracy.
Her vacuous, robotic and slightly degenerate persona embodies all the “symptoms” of a mind control victim. – Lady Gaga, The Illuminati Puppet
We are led to believe that we are merely being entertained by this performer, but we are, in fact, being programmed and brainwashed into an existential nightmare–our brain as a microcosm of the drama unfolding on the international stage–forced to entertain the very real notion of a passive complacence to the machinations of the elite.
According to the aforementioned article, the evidence of Gaga’s agentyness is beyond reproach. While not to blame for her “condition” if you will, she has been brainwashed into a life of synergistic symbol dissemination.
We recently discussed her video for Telephone, but would you surprised to find a certain hidden agenda behind every twist and turn? I think not. She even admits it when she stated unequivocally that:
[there] was this really amazing quality in ‘Paparazzi,’ where it kind of had this pure pop music quality but at the same time it was a commentary on fame culture. In its own way, even at certain points working with Jonas Åkerlund, the director of both videos really achieved this high art quality in the way that it was shot. I wanted to do the same thing with this video—take a decidedly pop song, which on the surface has a quite shallow meaning, and turn it into something deeper. – Lady Gaga on “Telephone” and Its Hidden Meaning
Specifically, according this guy, the hidden, deeper than deep meaning they were after relates more to mind control as practiced by the Illuminati, CIA, FSA, FAA, FDA, and a whole host of abbreviated agencies.
In Paparazzi, Gaga plays the role of a mind-controlled slave who was “programmed” to poison and kill her boyfriend. Telephone is a continuation of this story, where Gaga goes to jail for her crime.
In the video, the “telephone” is a metaphor for Gaga’s brain and the fact that she is not answering that phone (her brain) means that she has “dissociated” from reality. Dissociation is the ultimate goal of Monarch mind control. It is induced by traumatizing events, such as electroshock therapy or torture, to force the victim to dissociate from reality. This enables the handlers to create in the victim an alter personality that can be programmed to perform various tasks, such as carrying out an assassination.
What we see is an obvious effort to use her videos in a way that shocks us into or own dissociative state in order to brainwash and program the unknowing masses; complacence to the machine and service to the Illuminati. Calling Dan Brown!
As a renowned symbologist might say, “all of the signs point to the Illuminati, but they’re not supposed to exist!” I say, Robert, my friend, they do exist. Robert might retort, “these symbols are supposed to have been lost centuries ago.” Suddenly, in the middle of our hypothetical exchange, Lady Gaga emerges from the darkest corner and violently attacks Robert Langdon® with an old ancient knife carved with the crest of a family known to be associated deeply with the Masons.
He escapes, unscathed, because the incompetence of evil knows no bounds.
But, just because it may be true, doesn’t mean it is. And vice versa.
Lady Gaga’s much-hyped new video for “Telephone” received its world premiere on E! Thursday night. The clip for Gaga’s duet with Beyoncé moves from an all-women’s prison to a killing spree at a diner to (what else?) dancing. Directed by Jonas Akerlund, the video also features an appearance from actor Tyrese Gibson and a certain vehicle on loan from Quentin Tarantino and his Kill Bill movies. Co-written by Gaga and Akerlund, the video also contains a surprising barrage of product placements…even Gaga’s Dr. Dre earbud headphones make an appearance.
Speaking to E! News, Gaga said of the 9+ minute video, “There’s certainly always a hidden message in my music videos. But I would say most predominately, I’m always trying to convolute everyone’s idea of what a pop music video should be.” MTV dubbed the high-budget, 9-minute extravaganza a “hyperkinetic pop-culture joyride” with homages to films like Caged Heat and Kill Bill. In fact, director Quentin Tarantino acted as a kind of consultant on the video. She also revealed that it was Tarantino’s idea to include his Kill Bill automobile, after she met the director and told him the concept for the clip. “We were having lunch one day in Los Angeles and I was telling him about my concept for the video and he said, ‘You gotta use the Pussy Wagon!’,”—which is what Beyoncé uses to whisk Gaga out of prison.
Akerlund also directed the video for “Paparazzi,” and Gaga said of the director, “There was this really amazing quality in ‘Paparazzi,’ where it kind of had this pure pop music quality but at the same time it was a little bit of commentary on fame culture. I wanted to do the same thing with this video — take a decidedly pop song, which on the surface has a quite shallow meaning, and turn it into something deeper: the idea that America is full of young people that are inundated with information and technology and turn it into something that is more of a commentary on the kind of country that we are.”
“You know Marcus, a person can be rich in more than one way,” my old uncle used to spit, with that knowing little impish smile. You know what I say? Only poor fools like that sort of talk. Makes them feel like they have something too–when in fact the haves know everyone else, well, has not.
Hell, it makes me feel good…I’m rich in feeling good. But how good can you feel when you’re dirt poor? You can’t live that way and be happy. No. Fucking. Way.
They would have you believing that the poor person is happier, friendlier, and more noble than any rich person could ever be. The rich person is far too greedy to care about the greater community; he wouldn’t stop for a second to help a guy out. He wouldn’t stop to pick up a dime–it’s not worth the time they say. Well, chief, what about the statistic that 73.3% of donations1 made come from individuals that earn roughly $500,000 or more? You ever hear that one? And whatever’s left comes from the rest of us bums earning a paltry sum.
All I’m saying is, a small percentage of people even approach that bracket, yet they seem pretty damn philanthropic to me; hell, they’re living well and helping others, only making themselves feel even better. They must have happiness issues. Tax breaks for philanthropy don’t explain it.
You tell me. What do you think? Are the rich simply hoarding and making life harder for us regular, normal folk? Is it time to revolt against the rich classes?
Hell no.
What good will that do? There will always be a class of people that have what we do not. Even in that bullshit utopian, communist dream, the party is rich and extravagant, while the people generally suffer the consequences of central planning.
Look, the rich do a great job of distributing their wealth without government interference, so why press it? Because envy is on their minds.
The rumors are true folks (what…there are fucking rumors about this?), Wes Anderson is set to direct the rebooted, slightly flailing, Spiderman franchise and Minor Speculum has the exclusive rights (from YouTube) to show you the newly released trailer. Feast yer eyes on this:
The movie looks so exciting, I can’t wait to see it. It’s certainly his signature style, though he seems to be departing from Futura in the titles, which is a bit of a disappointment from a typographic perspective. Of course, this trailer is from the cutting room floor, and we’re likely not getting the best of the best in terms of what we’re glimpsing here.
This is set for an early 2011 release, but officially I think they’ll get it in by the end of this year. Look out America!
Rated R for x-treme fun and minimal plausibility.
Quality:
Action:
Direction:
To anyone who has seen the banner that reads “having a witty blog proves nothing” (if you haven’t seen it go back to the home page and hit refresh until you do): it should read: “Having a witty blog doesn’t mean people will actually comment on it, much less read it.”
We seem to have both problems.
I’m not going to lie, I’ve had people tell me they read it but do not comment–I want to know why this is. Do we suck? Is there something we are doing wrong? There is a sizable amount of content. Plenty to discuss. Half the fun of this blog, especially in the earlier days, were the comments. Even the fake stuff was better than nothing. At least a dialogue was started.
Is there something we’re not doing that you, the reader, would like to see? Please let us know.
We're just a few guys originally from southwest Michigan—though some of us abruptly left one summer—and we're all world renowned writers. Furthermoresirs
