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My letter to the IRS. Not that it will make a damn bit of difference.
To Whom It May Concern:
And this probably doesn’t concern anyone but for my peace of mind, I must at least put it in the envelope. So please bear with me, wise reader, as I relieve the weight from my chest.
First, as most conversations begin, let me introduce myself and give a brief background. Just to give this letter a little life, a little context. I am a third year college student, white, born here, part of the lowest income class of the country, and already strapped with $17,000 in student loans. I grew up in Smalltown, USA, graduated at the top of my class, gave a pretty speech at graduation, National Honor Society president; some traits of which retail managers are made. Went to public school, which wasn’t as bad as Europe thinks, and left high school with no clue. Like most. After a run at two community colleges and a brief stint as a commercial director, I decided I wanted, I needed actually, to go back to college and get an advanced degree. If I really wanted to do something with my life, I knew, at least it is what has been fed to me all my life, that I needed a degree. To be put more concisely, a postgraduate degree.
More borrowing.
So now I’m on my way, a year from law school, and currently holding a decent trade-time-for-dollars-job. So I make $12,000 last year while taking no summer time off from school and never dropping below five classes each semester and 30 hours of work per week. Thus at the end of the year I’m thinking my taxes will just even out, no pay, no refund. I figure this because that is how it has been every year I have worked. Surely I did not make more than the majority of the country, my own mother excluded (she made about $11,000) so I thought, much to my chagrin, that everything would balance out.
I was wrong, obviously, I mean really wrong (the check is inside to prove it). And I am not upset about it, don’t get me wrong; paying taxes is essential to the growth and stability of our great nation. They are obviously important to lawmakers too, I mean, their salaries come from the tax pool and all. So why, fine reader, is it that we are cutting taxes? Tax more. Tax people who can pay. Why tax a college student with growing student loans (thanks, by the way, for decreasing subsidies on my loans and increasing the interest rates) who makes less than the per capita GDP of the Northern Mariana Islands? Just curious is all.
Nevertheless, attached is the $698 that I owe for the great service I have had from the Government. Honestly, thanks for the preferential hiring of Ivy League grads in the government; thanks for loaning me all that money; thanks for encouraging me to strive to be in the upper class; thanks for cutting taxes for people who can afford to actually know what capital gains and dividends are (about 5% of the country); and thank you for taking $698 of the $2,500 needed to live for two months in a foreign country to actually help people who need the help.
However, please try your hardest (I know this is a ridiculous request) to make sure that my money isn’t used for the following: a trip to Mars, preventing Iran from improving their energy situation, helping my peers find the grave in Iraq, subsidies to tobacco farms, a toilet seat convention or mariachi music concert (pork), and most notably, our president’s or vice president’s salaries.
But please feel free to contribute it to education. Maybe I’ll actually see a few of those dollars back while attending law school.
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