Minor Speculum

Top 10 Things People Under 21 Know

10. Instead of renewing subsidies to federal student loans, one of the only ways most kids can afford to go to college, congress will continue to give billions of dollars to the Iraq war effort.

9. None of the terrorists involved with September 11th, 2001 were in any way shape or form connected to the Iraqi government or its people.

8. The United States and the United Kingdom, the two most stable democracies, fought for their own beliefs. Neither one had other countries come in and tell them what type of government they should have or shouldn’t have.

7. Afghanistan, the home country of the man responsible for Al Qaeda and the urban terrorism the world fears today, was never invaded by the US and their thriving democracy has a per capita GDP of about 1000 American dollars per year.

6. Saudi Arabia, where all but a handful of the terrorists involved in 9/11 claim residency, has never been challenged by the US in any military compacity. Matter-of-fact, they just recently became our new free trade partner, opening up billions of dollars, American dollars, to go into the Saudi economy.

5. Yes, the Kennedy’s were bootleggers, 80 years ago and the Bush’s were supporters of Nazi Germany, 60 years ago. I guess we all have skeletons in our closets.

4. Bloodshed over Germany and Japan, which happened to form Democracies in both countries (again at the urge of America) had one major difference between the current occupation of Iraq. It was World War II.

3. Terrorism is the new Communism. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t have a $200 billion trade deficit ran up with China. Unless of course they were terrorists who happened to have oil in their back yards.

2. Thomas Jefferson would have bitch slapped George W. Bush if he called himself a republican in front of Jefferson.

1. And the number one thing people under 21 know: If you ask nice enough, and promise not to tell, one of the authors from this site will buy you alcohol.

Feb 10, 2006 • OP-ED

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