By Jared
Early this week the Washington Post reported that the UAE (United Arab Emirates), a seven nation conglomerate, if you will, purchased six US ports for a hefty $6.8 billion price tag from the United Kingdom. The reports made it sound as though the UAE government explicitly paid money to the UK government for US ports. The real story is much more deceptive than that.
What happens is this: the era of globalization in which we are presently in invited foreign investment. This is a foreign investment by Dubai Ports World, a ports management corporation owned by the UAE, acquiring a British multinational port management corporation, which just happened to own the US ports. Sound complicated? It is.
The British corporation, Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation Co., operated the US ports for at least the last 30 years (as far as I found). Our ports have and will continue to be operated by foreign multinational corporations because they are able to afford the price tags on them. What is different about this new transaction is really quite simple, the UAE is not the UK. The UK is the longest established democracy and an extremely transparent nation. Quite contrary to the UAE.
I find it fascinating that the Middle East, the supposed center of all the conflict in the world today and the sphere of terror, or whatever term coined by Bush to describe bad guys these days, can have good guys in it too. The hypocrisy is so thick the administration could build a house out of it. Say, a white house perhaps.
So get it straight everyone. Iraq, no terrorists linked to 2001, bad. Saudi Arabia, 15 terrorists connected to 9/11, good. And the UAE, the seven nation army with two terrorists attached to the airplanes, good.
The real problem is US security at ports in general. Whether the UK owns the ports or the UAE, the Department of Homeland Security still, supposedly, has the final say of what gets in and out of the country. They check about a quarter of the shipments thoroughly, according to reports. US borders are just not protected, they’re basically open to anyone. Although it is becoming increasingly harder to become a citizen, which doesn’t affect immigration whatsoever as there are currently an estimated 8 million illegal immigrants in the country.
Here’s the real story. In 2008 there’s this thing called an open election. Open because there will be no incumbent coming back, so both parties will be having primary elections to choose candidates to represent their respected parties. The general public hears that the UAE buys US ports and assumes it is a terrible thing and that terrorists are taking over. News flash, much of America is already foreign owned anyway. But it doesn’t matter, we here UAE buys ports and we want our congress to stop it. And who’s speaking out against the most adamantly? The same people we’ll see in the Primaries in 2008.
The purchase of Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation Co. by Dubai Ports World is globalization at its finest and people need to accept that. The world is smaller now and what’s most important is that lawmakers, congress, and the administration need to do is step up our port regulations and accept the fact that multinationals are here to stay. Besides ask the UAE if they want terrorists to come through their government owned ports into the largest market the world will ever know, and see what they say. MY guess is, that wouldn’t be very good for business, and that’s what it’s all about.
Feb 24, 2006 • OP-ED, Politics
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By Larry
In case you missed it, which most of you probably did, there was a two hour season/series finale, of Arrested Development. Fox aired the Final Four episodes starting at 8:00, and they were some of the best episodes in the history of the show.
I say ‘/series’ because the show is not being picked up for another season by Fox due to poor ratings (despite solid critical acclaim & awards) – it was usually placed in the same timeslot by other, more intellectually engrossing fare as “Laguna Beach” or “Newlyweds: Nick & Jessica”. The irony here is that the Final Four were broadcast during the Opening Ceremony of the Olympics.
…oooh two ironies…
The show’s future is still very much in limbo, Showtime may pick it up but I have finally accepted that it might be over for good.
To enjoy Arrested Development, its as easy as one, two, three! Step one: run out to your nearest retailer, step two: buy Seasons One & Two, step three: watch, step four: repeat.
So here’s to you Arrested Development, *CLINK* one of the finest programs to ever appear on the small screen.
And to you “The Office,” for being there to help ease the pain.
Feb 10, 2006 • Humor
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By Jared
10. Instead of renewing subsidies to federal student loans, one of the only ways most kids can afford to go to college, congress will continue to give billions of dollars to the Iraq war effort.
9. None of the terrorists involved with September 11th, 2001 were in any way shape or form connected to the Iraqi government or its people.
8. The United States and the United Kingdom, the two most stable democracies, fought for their own beliefs. Neither one had other countries come in and tell them what type of government they should have or shouldn’t have.
7. Afghanistan, the home country of the man responsible for Al Qaeda and the urban terrorism the world fears today, was never invaded by the US and their thriving democracy has a per capita GDP of about 1000 American dollars per year.
6. Saudi Arabia, where all but a handful of the terrorists involved in 9/11 claim residency, has never been challenged by the US in any military compacity. Matter-of-fact, they just recently became our new free trade partner, opening up billions of dollars, American dollars, to go into the Saudi economy.
5. Yes, the Kennedy’s were bootleggers, 80 years ago and the Bush’s were supporters of Nazi Germany, 60 years ago. I guess we all have skeletons in our closets.
4. Bloodshed over Germany and Japan, which happened to form Democracies in both countries (again at the urge of America) had one major difference between the current occupation of Iraq. It was World War II.
3. Terrorism is the new Communism. If it wasn’t, we wouldn’t have a $200 billion trade deficit ran up with China. Unless of course they were terrorists who happened to have oil in their back yards.
2. Thomas Jefferson would have bitch slapped George W. Bush if he called himself a republican in front of Jefferson.
1. And the number one thing people under 21 know: If you ask nice enough, and promise not to tell, one of the authors from this site will buy you alcohol.
Feb 10, 2006 • OP-ED
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By Larry
Let me break it down for you before I break down.
I love Jay-Z, when I first heard the Black Album I started crying, seriously. And I love The Beatles, Revolver is the greatest album of all time. But, I can’t stand Linkin Park. So if you watched the Oscars you already know what my problem is. If not, then let me fill you in.
Robert Johnson, the most legendary and revered blues man ever, Period, Amen, is honored with the Lifetime Achievement Award, who presents him with this award? Rapper/actor LL Cool J (who better?) Mr. Cool J then tosses to the musical performance: “pioneering rapper” Jay-Z (true) and Linkin Park, who “combine elements of hip-hop, rock and electronic music,” (also true, but badly) with Special Guest. Special Guest you say?
So Jay-Z starts in on the opening track to the Black Album (Numb). Little did I know halfway through “Numb/Encore” (for which Jay and LP won the “Best Rap/Sung Collaboration Award”) would they change it up (Thank God) right at the Linkin Park (/Numb) part, but you could imagine my horror upon hearing them instead segue into a Beatles classic “Yesterday” then seeing Paul McCartney, the mother-fucking Walrus, appear onstage to join them. There have been thousands of bad Beatles covers, (re: Thrice’s butchering of “Eleanor Rigby”) because what better way to pay homage to the greatest songwriters of our/all time by taking one of their songs, and completely screwing it up. I can accept that. I can accept that. But when an actual member and songwriter is an accomplice? Why Paul, why? It wasn’t like you were making up beef with anyone, noooo you’d have to appear onstage with the Gallagher brothers for that, which could possibly be next. John Lennon would have never done that and that’s why he was everyone’s favorite Beatle. Although I should note, that he appeared on the Jigga Man’s T-shirt. Which he couldn’t really help now, could he precious?
The Grammys have a long tradition of bringing artists together for once in a lifetime performances, (aka ratings) mostly combining the old with the young. This year it was Macca with LP and Jay-Z, and Christina Aguilera with Herbie Hancock. Last year Foo Fighters with Chick Corea. 2001, Elton John with Eminem. And more infamously in 1994, Frank Sinatra with a TV ad.
Doesn’t anyone else see how wrong this is?
Also…
Where the fuck has Christina Aguilera been? 5 years ago she became Xtina and no one’s heard from her since then. Until now… (And over the summer when she got married)
Is it just me or did Larry Mullen Jr., the drummer from U2, look like Peter Stormare on FOX’s Prison Break
Mariah Carey’s album was great stuff, one of the best of the year, but did everyone already forget she went bat-shit crazy a couple of years ago? I guess that is why they call it a comeback.
Who else is tired of Jamie Foxx? He’s one of the most talented people in the biz, both of them, but enough is enough. I want the old Jamie back, the pre-Oscar Jamie, the high-top fade Jamie.
And the Foo Fighters got robbed of best 5.1 Surround Sound System Album.
When it comes to pleasing this humble author, this year’s Grammys are Broke, Broke, Broke, Phi Broke, they ain’t got it.
Thank God the Beasties were on Letterman later to cheer me up…
For a complete list of winners or to learn to play poker for free, Click Here.
Feb 09, 2006 • Music
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By Larry
After Saturday Night Live’s success with “Lazy Sunday” they have been broadcasting a digital short almost every single week, the last two, shown Feb. 4th, weren’t so much digital shorts as they were just regular skits shot digitally and not live. But if you haven’t seen “Lazy Sunday” or “Chuck Norris #4” you’ll see what all the fuss is about.
Tainted Love
The Daily Show’s Ed Helms dissection of the “dank underside of politics.”
Level of Taint
Chuck Norris #4
Told in total 80’s Metal fashion, the fourth song on a concept album of 12 Kung-Fu Masters contains the story of the young Chuck Norris.
Sing along with the lyrics below…
Spoken:
Legend has it he walks among us even now
A dreamer alone in a world between dreams and reality
Was he always a fighter, was he always a hero
What do we make of the young Chuck Norris
Sung:
Norris used his hands and his feet
And he kicked and he punched with his hands and his feet
And he kicked and he punched with mr. Bruce Lee
On master of kara-ta-ta-tee
And he kicks and he spins some more
Back to Vietnam to settle the score
Don’t forget Walker, Texas Ranger
When he kicked and he punched his way from danger
But hey let’s turn back time to younger days
Before all of the fame and mind games
His deeds were no less strengthened
A man among other men
The legend of young Chuck Norris yeah
Young Norris used his hands and his feet
And he kicked and he punched with his hands and his feet
He also ran and he jumped in the air
He was younger so he didn’t even care
Way before his Hollywood fame
He slapped and punched and he saw the famed name and he was known as Master Chuck
His last name was Norris and his first name was Chuck
Round house kick (Chuck Norris)
Death hold grip (Chuck Norris)
Mustache lip (Chuck Norris)
Tender kiss (Chuck Norris)
Fathers let your daughters know
Dreams may come and dreams may go
But a man like Norris never dies
He lives forever in the children’s eyes
Young Chuck Norris this is my tribute to thee
Live on great warrior into eternity
and finally…
Lazy Sunday
The one that started it all, rapped by Chris Parnel and Andy Samberg. Also known as the Narnia Rap.
Lazy Sunday, wake up in the late afternoon.
Call Parnell just to see how he’s doin’.
Hello?
What up, Parns?
Yo Samberg, what’s crackin’?
You thinking what I’m thinkin?
NARNIA.
Man, it’s happenin’.
But first my hunger pains are stickin’ like duct tape.
Let’s hit up Magnolia and mack on some cupcakes.
No doubt that bakery’s got all da bomb frostins.
I love those cupcakes like McAdams loves Gosling.
Two, no six, no twelve, BAKERS DOZEN.
I told you that I’m crazy for these cupcakes, cousin.
Yo, where’s the movie playin’?
Upper west side, dude.
Well, let’s hit up Yahoo Maps to find the dopest route.
I prefer Map Quest.
That’s a good one, too.
Google Maps is the best.
True that.
DOUBLE TRUE.
68th and Broadway.
Step on it, sucka.
What you wanna do, Chris?
SNACK ATTACK, MOTHER******
It’s the Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Yes, the Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
We love that Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Pass that Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Yo, stop at the deli.
The theater’s over-priced.
You’ve got the backpack?
Gonna pack it up nice.
Don’t want security to get suspicious.
Mr. Pibb and Red Vines equals CRAZY DELICIOUS!
I’ll reach in my pocket, pull out some dough.
Girl actin’ like she never seen a $10 before.
It’s all about the Hamiltons, baby.
Throw the snacks in a bag and I’m ghost like Swayze.
Roll up to the theater.
Ticket buying, what we’re handlin’.
You can call us Aaron Burr.
From the way we’re droppin’ Hamiltons.
Now parked in our seats.
Movie trivias the illest.
Which Friends alum starred in films with Bruce Willis?
We answered so fast it was scary.
Everyone stared in awe when we screamed Matthew Perry.
Now quiet in the theater or it’s gonna get tragic.
We’re bout to get taken to a dream world of magic with…
the Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Yes, the Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
We love that Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
Pass that Chronic (what?)
Cles of Narnia
The End…
…for now…
Feb 08, 2006 • Humor
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By Mike
I’m not taking a shot at you Brian. I respect you and what you have to say, plus I couldn’t pass up the chance at alliteration(ha), but lets talk about bellering for a second. George W. Bush II, self proclaimed King and leader of the movement to start a tyranny of the executive branch of government, has decided to seek the approval of congress to spend more than $120 Billion on the war in Iraq. When we take a look at our current situation in Iraq none of us can say that we’re actually fighting a war in the traditional sense (Well, many people say it everyday, but if they weren’t politicking, or bellering, it might be different). Instead, what we are doing is occupying a nation much like our imperialist brothers in Great Britain did to, oh just for the sake of argument I’ll say, India.
Now, I may be a bit old school, but I like to think about the great empires of the past and how they annexed territory and conquered peoples. It kind of makes you proud of your Western European roots-that is if you ignore the countless evils committed and you actually are of Western European descent. But, right now, what we’re doing is pointless, even in an imperialistic sense. We’re occupying a sovereign nation to introduce them to demos kratos (very loosely, “authority from the people”) and to free them from their former way of life under a despotic leader. We’re real heros. But once we’re done, if that ever happens, we’re supposed to just hand it all back; we’re only half-ass imperialists. If taking the country isn’t our goal, then what is? Why should we be there any longer?
We freed them from ‘tyranny’ only to allow more and more of it at home in an effort to prevent communists…or terrorists…from striking at our homeland; we’ve given them the wonderful gift of rule by the mob and they’ve elected their leaders, who happen to be calling for a withdrawal of our occupying forces, and some of Iraq’s citizens are unhappy with their representatives. Sounds a lot like the United States.
I no longer see the larger picture in this situation. A year and a half ago, I suported our occupation, but that was before their democratically elected leaders asked us to leave. Now we still have ‘goals’ in Iraq? Somebody explain the situation to me, what haven’t we accomplished that we initally set out to do…other than the WMD thing, that was a major blunder on our part, eh?
Now Bush is petitioning congress for $120 BILLION for the ‘war’. Why, would he do that? The total cost would be pushed towards an astounding half a trillion dollars if congress were to approve. A half a trillion dollars is far too much to spend on a foreign occupation that is no longer needed or warranted.
If it is about stabilization, then we’ve already lost. The British couldn’t stabilize that region, how can we? The only empire to do it with some success was the Ottoman empire; give it back to them. Let the region be; after all, they will either stabilize themselves or destroy themselves (which will ultimately stabilze the region) so nothing we can do will make matters any better, but we certainly are making things worse.
Perhaps I sound a little liberal, but I’m not. I just won’t blindly accept the direction that the Republican party wants to take our country in; they’re moving for an increased centralization of power in the federal government, and I’m not talking about taking power from the states, although I’m sure thats in there, I mean an increase in the duties and powers of the executive branch. I guess they all skipped Government 101, since they were bred for politics, and forgot all about why the founding fathers set our government up with checks and balances. They wanted to get away from the TYRANNY of rule by one, or by the central government. And so did my party. They used to stand for smaller government, but that certainly isn’t evident today with the vast amounts of spending going on.
The leadership and politics in this country are rotten. We need change or else our dominance in world affairs will continue to dwindle, and we’ll be headed down a road that we won’t be able to leave for quite a while.
Feb 02, 2006 • OP-ED, Politics
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