Germany Left Leaderless
Germany and her citizens have been left in complete and utter disbelief after the general election Sunday failed to produce a clear leader. In a hotly contested election, between Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder’s Social Democrats, which received 34.3% of the vote, and Angela Merkel’s conservative Christian Democrats, which received 35.2%, neither party has emerged in a position to take control of the government. Angela Merkel could have been Germany’s first female leader had her party won a clear mandate.
German citizens were surprised upon waking Monday morning to find that they lacked a leader. Local bus driver Johan Wilke said, “Sure I’m upset, but you know, we should have expected this. I mean, everywhere you look people are losing jobs. And it is just to damn hard to tell which party can lead us to a state of blind apathy again.” Mr. Wilke says that he himself is about to lose his job as a bus driver, due to increases in the price of petrol. He didn’t vote.
Some Londoners, or Englanders, have reacted rather harshly to the news. Duke of Saxon John Conner, House of Lords, commented by stating, ”while most of us have no respect for Germany whatsoever, we note rather ironically that Germany is not a leader in reform, or anything for that matter, and now they have no leader at all.” The house immediately erupted in applause, followed by a brawl between the Earl of Wellington and the Earl of Dike. The House of Lords made no further decision and promptly convened for tea. Others have simply said that they could care less about Germany, now that communism is no longer a threat to the free world.
Most can clearly see, from the data presented in the CIA Fact book, that Germany is one of the most populous and economically powerful nations in Europe, and this fact alone makes just about everyone nervous, considering Germany’s past. Without a leader, the situation could get worse, and political turmoil could ensue for hours, perhaps days even, and no one will know what to do.
In order to obtain a mandate in Germany, several parties can form a coalition of the willing in order to gather all the votes necessary to gain control.
At this point, talks between the major political parties are taking place, and perhaps within the month a leader will emerge in Germany, and the people can go back to their apathetic lives.
Disclaimer: No facts exist in this article, whatsoever. Quotes are not real.
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