Having a witty blog doesn't mean people will actually comment on it, much less read it.
Death of an Ideal
You can look to the stars or you can look to the dirt, but in each you see the enormity of the variety of worthless choices and ideas you face. Yet, the stars are as lifeless as the dirt is plentiful; and if you look deep into the dirt you’ll find it is full of life.
So, why aren’t we constantly reminded of our own shortcomings? The inequality that exists within us all is as evident as any blemish on the skin, but we are gifted the illusion of a capability we do not possess and never will; our hard work be damned, because in reality we are a limited people with various roles to fill based solely on our skillfulness. No amount of want or desire will bring about what you most wish for–don’t count on effort either.
Fear not the thing that offends you most; being told you are not good enough is a shot to the face of rationality and is to be desired above all else. The dirt brings health, life, and self-worth; the rational man takes these things with a joyous heart and rejoices in his limitations. As it were, not all people are all capable of much greatness.
So instead of dreaming big, in terms of unreachable heights, why not think of the attainable blackness that is topsoil? These are things that make sense beyond the ridiculous, “shot for the moon” that we are all told to grab at, because if we miss we’ll be lost for an eternity in utter despair.
Know your limits, as I now know mine.
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A
So you’re a tightrope walker in a circus. You step out on the rope like you always do – like you have done for years. Instantly you recognize the feel of that rope. The rope you know like your own hand it’s so familiar. It’s a part of you. But it’s old, it’s the rope you started your career with. People have been telling you to get a new one for as long as you’ve used it. But this one particular rope is safe – isn’t it? And besides, to retire this tightrope would be to retire yourself. To settle down at the beginning of your career without ever knowing the heights you could reach…
Now, under you, you’ve got a brand new net. It arrived the other day unexpectedly. During practice you rolled and tumbled on it a bit to get the feeling of it. You liked the feel of the new material on your skin. Relished in it in fact. It was soft, comforting. Shit, you would have slept in it if you could have. But the problem is you’ve never ever really fallen before. In fact that whole feeling of falling, as thrilling as it is, scares the shit out of you. It’s the uncertainty. Hence why you should actually look forward to landing on the net. The net wants to be used, it wouldn’t be there if it didn’t.
So there you are in the middle of your routine – pretty far out. You realize that trusty old tightrope is noticeably unraveling slowly. You are close enough to the platform at the end that you could probably make it. But then what would you do with the rope? To retire this tightrope would be to retire yourself. Your feelings about it are rapidly changing. The new net is starting to look even more attractive now.
Now, you think: maybe it’s time for a change. You look down. The faithful net under you smiles its crooked smile – sadness in its eyes like that of a love sick puppy dog. At this point it is time to make your move. Fall and land safely in the patient, loving, embrace of the net; only to begin again, renewed and ready to take on life’s next challenge with it under you, always and forever. Or go the way of the rope – settle down with it and watch it unravel along with your once promising future. The fact is one thing or the other might fail (one of them eventually will) and you’ll get hurt no matter what. But really you’ll never know either way until you take the next step.
Best Coast – I Want To
Best Coast – When The Sun Don’t Shine
Best Coast – When I’m With You
Best Coast – The End
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Ork Posters! City Neighborhood Posters
I am very interested in obtaining this poster of a typographic representation of Chicago…a small hint for the significant other. Or anyone willing to spend a little cash on a friend.
Red on white is mighty nice.
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It’s HIS Time
This is a Goddamn proud moment within the Minorspeculum Family. I can feel it in my plums.
Like any family, a time to pause and reflect is warranted when one of its members greatly betters their life in any way, shape, or form. In this particular instance, the Subject is Larry (Larsen, Larsenito, Gregg, The Gym Master’s Son, Lancelot, Senior DungDiggles, FlyWay to Merc, The Monsters Only Fear, et al..), and the charge? His acceptance to Columbia College Chicago. The Admission Review Committee not only thought that Larry was deserving enough to attend their prestigious school, but additionally gave him coupons to a free lunch at any one of four diners within 47 miles of the campus, on odd numbered Wednesday’s of even numbered months. This is the first time an honor of such has ever been given to an incoming student.
We’re all proud of you FlyWay to Merc. You are the most major thing left in a minor town, the prized tomato growing on a weakened vine. Go there. Kick ass. See. Conquer. Paint the city with the bowels of the miscreants who ever doubted you or said an unforgiving word. And by God, have fun with it. Take as many outlandish liberties as humanly possible.
I leave with a poem:
Larry:
Hey man
Good
Luck
(Brad, help me out with my poetry)
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This Weekend ONLY: Google doodle PACMAN
This weekend’s Google doodle, commemorating the 30th anniversary of Pac-Man, is a fully playable, 256-level Pac-Man game.
Google’s new Pac-Man doodle—one of the custom logos the company posts every few days to celebrate a special occasion—brings back all the elements of the original, including the ghosts, the fruits, the “wakka wakka wakka,” and even the kill screen on level 256 (I have never even got that far). Hitting the “insert coin” button even lets you play 2 player mode with the WASD keys on your keyboard.
It’ll be up all weekend long, starting right now. Very cool, so stop whatever you’re doing and go eat some ghosts at Google.
From Gizmodo.com
Reports say it even works on the iPhone and plays faster in Google’s own Chrome browser. But really, what doesn’t Chrome do faster?
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Preakness
I feel prepared.
The weekends in May often bring about moments of poverty stricken memories, dark sunglasses, and a mid afternoon smile that can only be described as perverse. May means horse racing and this weekend is the Preakness Stakes, the second leg of the Triple Crown. Now being an avid fan of horse racing I would like to share the absolutely non-helpful little insight that I have. First the twelve-horse field has a total of five horses that have only won one race. With that said the real contenders would line up all right next to each other (post six out to twelve). The favorite is of course Super Saver ridden by Calvin Borel, the winner of the Kentucky Derby. This is a strong horse, but more importantly Calvin Borel has become legendary in his late years. Borel’s hug the rail style makes many, including myself, a little apprehensive to bet big on him since that is the easiest way for a horse to have a bad trip. Be it as it may at 5-2 he is a solid favorite that will only increase if the weather is bad. Bad weather will mean that Paddy O Prado will be up for contention, but as many found out in Kentucky, Paddy isn’t used to running on natural surfaces. He simply ran out of gas in Kentucky and held on for third as Ice Box blew by him for second, something his jockey has taken a lot of heat over in the last week. The new Irish horse of sorts to watch is Dublin at 10-1. Dublin is a speed horse and will need a clear weather day to run well. Lookin at Lucky is looking to redeem himself after a terrible trip in the Derby. He is a 3-1 after a jockey change was made early last week. There are two very capable horses that could make a run to upset the sports hope for a Triple Crown winner since forever ago. Jackson Bend (12-1) is a speed horse that many are looking at to set a pace early and Caracortado (10-1) has the strength to make a move down the stretch. Although as of now I default everything I know about racing to Scott Nykamp, the only man I have ever known personally to pick the top three finishers in the Kentucky Derby. He is also well on his way to becoming a legend complete with a sponsorship from Woodford Reserve. So to find horses to bet on ask Scott. On Saturday I’m going with 1. Look in at Lucky 2. Caracortado 3. Super Saver 4. Paddy O Prado: with a two to win bet on Yawanna Twist, who isn’t that much of a long shot in my opinion.
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A Healthy Challenge
I have attempted to change my personal habits after reflecting on a series of photos in an album that somehow survived the massive move into my new home. This random collection of dusty photos included several pictures dating as far back as Middle School formal dance, which was horribly awkward, and post game celebrations that I wish I could recall better. In these memories stuck out a ghostly figure better know as stick boy, Michianna Slim (a nickname given to me after a series of impressive pool games on a plastic table bought from Toys R Us on layaway), bones, crack head (although I don’t recall this name specifically the resemblance is to canny to omit), as well as many others.
I was grotesquely skinny, but each picture showed a glow of confidence I feel has dimmed over the years (yes even the one from eighth grade, although I will attribute the majority of that to the fact that I had my sunglasses on indoors). It was kind of like how Austen Powers lost his mojo without the homosexual overtones and randomly inserted catch phrases. Zingo! I immediately looked in the mirror to compare the youthful me to what I have done to myself. My body shows the affects of being a disappointed sports fan and at times a social hero. I needed to make a change and start making healthier choices.
So the past month or so I have dedicated to the attempt of changing my life style from a Riggs drink first ask questions later, to a more Murtaugh I’m a few days away from retirement style of living. The kicker over this month is despite my best efforts there has been a component of my week that would allow me to dip back into my wonderfully bad habits; I would drink on the weekends and eat like John Candy in his studio trailer and he has been dead for over five years so he is ok to use in a joke. So here it is, I am going to stop drinking for thirty days and share my experience with everyone. Obviously this comes with its fair share of difficulties.
Questions surface like the bodies of Asian Carp after a Nykamp saved Lake Michigan. Will I still have fun? Can I still go out? Can I really dance without drinking? I would like to encourage others to join me in this as we can help each other along. Not that it will be difficult for most of us, but some may and I’ll add nothing onto the end of this sentence so that you can cycle through the list of names who would have a problem with this you judgmental bastard. In order to allow our friends on the east coast to think about joining in on this I will officially start on the May 5th and end June 4th at midnight. During this period I will attempt to do several different health related things like yoga, running, detoxing, etc. Much like this article I don’t really have much of a plan for starting. I just am. You should to.
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